Amish Jokes refer to humorous anecdotes or stories that poke fun at the lifestyle, traditions or customs of the Amish community.
These jokes often play on stereotypes or exaggerate aspects of Amish life for comedic effect. While they can be entertaining to some, it is important to be respectful and mindful of the cultural sensitivities of the Amish people when sharing or discussing these jokes.
Amish Jokes Laughter from Simpler Times
1. Why do not Amish people ever get lost?
Because they are always on the right track.
2. How does an Amish Jokes person make a phone call?
With a telegraph, of course.
3. Did you hear about the Amish man who bought a computer?
He heard it was state of the art, but now he is churning butter with it.
4. Why don’t the Amish Jokes play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding in a field of corn.
5. How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they prefer candles anyway.
6. Why did the Amish man start his own business?
He wanted to be the CEO (Chief Ethics Officer).
7. What is an Amish Jokes person’s favorite musical instrument?
A banjolin..
8. Why did the Amish man get kicked out of the party?
He kept milking the jokes.
9. Why did the Amish Jokes couple go to counseling?
They could not see eye to eye on the butter churn.
10. What did the Amish girl say to her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day?
I will love you to the barn and back.
11. How does an Amish Jokes person measure time?
With a sundial, but only when it is not raining.
12. Why do not Amish people skydive?
Because it’s too hard to harness the horses up there.
13. Why was the Amish man’s math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
14. What’s an Amish person’s favorite type of movie?
A barn-raising comedy.
15. Why did the Amish Jokes man bring a ladder to the bar?
He heard the drinks were in the house.
16. How do Amish people party?
With a barn dance, of course.
17. What do you call an Amish Jokes guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
18. Why did the Amish man bring a hammer to bed?
He wanted to hit the hay.
19. What’s an Amish Jokes person’s favorite type of music?
Bluegrass, because it’s down to earth.
20. Why did the Amish Jokes man take his cows to the movies?
He heard the tickets were half off.
21. What did the Amish Jokes man say when he got his first car?
Look, Ma, no horses.
22. Why did the Amish Jokes man bring a ladder to church?
He wanted to raise the roof.
23. Why did the Amish Jokes man become a gardener?
He wanted to grow his own vegetables without any horsepower.
24. Why don’t Amish Jokes people use email?
Because they can not find the send button on their typewriters.
25. How does an Amish Jokes person become a millionaire?
By starting off as a billionaire and then leaving the community.
26. What’s an Amish Jokes person’s favorite social media platform?
Face-to-facebook.
27. Why did the Amish man bring a pencil to bed?
In case he made a mistake in his dreams.
28. Why don’t Amish people go on diets?
Because they’re always in good shape from all the barn-raising.
29. Why did the Amish man buy a dog?
Because it was a woof instead of an engine.
30. What did the Amish man say to the farmer?
Stop milking those jokes, they are udderly ridiculous.
31. Why did the Amish man become a comedian?
He heard laughter was the best medicine and he didn’t trust modern medicine.
32. Why did the Amish man get a job as a tailor?
Because he heard he could make a seam change.
33. Why did the Amish man bring a shovel to the bar?
He heard they had a digging special.
34. Why did the Amish man become a chef?
Because he wanted to work with grain ingredients.
35. What did the Amish man say when he was accused of stealing a chicken?
I was just testing its wingspan.
36. Why did the Amish man bring a map to the corn maze?
He wanted to find the quickest way out, of course.
37. Why did the Amish man start a band?
Because he heard music was the wheat of the soul.
38. Why did the Amish man become a doctor?
He heard laughter was the best medicine but he still preferred home remedies.
39. What did the Amish man say when he saw his first escalator?
Well, that is one way to elevate.
40. Why did the Amish man become a painter?
He wanted to see life through a different brush.
41. Why did the Amish man become a baker?
Because he wanted to rise to the occasion.
42. Why did the Amish man bring a saddle to the movie theater?
He heard the seats were uncomfortable.
43. Why did the Amish man become a beekeeper?
He heard the bees were always buzzing about something interesting.
44. Why did the Amish man become a detective?
Because he was good at solving haystack cases.
45. Why did the Amish man bring a fishing rod to the swimming pool?
He wanted to catch some waves.
46. Why did the Amish man bring a broom to the bar?
He heard it was a sweeping success.
47. Why did the Amish man become a magician?
He wanted to make his problems disappear.
48. Why did the Amish man bring a ladder to the bakery?
He heard the bread was lofty.
49. Why did the Amish man bring a saw to the restaurant?
He heard they were serving saw-dust pie.
50. Why did the Amish man become a locksmith?
He heard he could unlock new opportunities.
51. Why did the Amish man become a dentist?
Because he wanted to drill for compliments.
52. Why did the Amish man bring a compass to the hayfield?
He didn’t want to lose his direction.
53. Why did the Amish man bring a wrench to the party?
He heard it was going to be a tight affair.
54. Why did the Amish man become a gardener?
Because he wanted to branch out.
55. Why did the Amish man bring a wheelbarrow to the beach?
He heard there was a sandcastle-building competition.
56. Why did the Amish man become a teacher?
Because he wanted to educate himself on new subjects.
57. Why did the Amish man bring a hammer to the bakery?
He heard they had a hammer time special.
58. Why did the Amish man become a chef?
Because he wanted to spice things up.
59. Why did the Amish man bring a ladder to the football game?
He wanted to see the highlights..
60. Why did the Amish man become a mechanic?
Because he wanted to gear up for a new
Amish Knock Knock Joke
61. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Amish.
Amish who?
Amish you’d let me in? It is getting cold out here without my barn.
62. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Butternut.
Butternut who?
Butternut opens this door, I have got fresh churned butter to share.
63. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Farm.
Farm who?
Farm your land, I will plow it for you.
64. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Buggy.
Buggy who?
Buggy down and let’s go for a ride.
65. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Quilt.
Quilt who?
Quilt you let me in? I promise I won’t hog all the blankets.
66. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cornfield.
Cornfield who?
Cornfield you please open up? I got lost chasing after a chicken.
67. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Haystack.
Haystack who?
Haystack high. Can you see me waving from down here?
68. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple-y ever after, let’s bake some pies together.
69. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Horse and buggy.
Horse and buggy who?
Horse and buggy just stopped by to say hello.
70. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Silo.
Silo who?
Silo you want to join us for dinner tonight?
71. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Milking.
Milking who?
Milking this joke for all it’s worth.
72. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Plow.
Plow who?
Plow stop kidding around and let me in.
73. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Maple.
Maple who?
Maple syrup sure tastes good on pancakes.
74. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Barn.
Barn who?
Barn again? We just saw each other yesterday.
75. Knock knock.
Who is there?
Field.
Field who?
Field trip. Let’s go explore the countryside together.
Final Thoughts
Amish Jokes are a form of humor that playfully poke fun at the lifestyle, traditions and customs of the Amish community.
While these jokes can be entertaining, it is important to be respectful of the cultural sensitivities of the Amish people when sharing or discussing them. As with any form of humor, it is essential to consider the feelings and perspectives of others to ensure that everyone can enjoy a good laugh without causing offense. Explore the lighter side of family dynamics with the 65 Most Funny Sister Jokes.
“Amelia Carrington, a seasoned humorist with 8 years in the ‘puns jokes’ domain, crafts laughter through witty wordplay and clever humor.
